I am so popular

Now that I have been living with my parents in Plano for over six months, I have come to realize that I have lost all of my friends. I have one friend in town, a very close friend in fact. Some would say that I have some sort of sick, hetero-domestic-spousal sort of friendship with Jie. I am very grateful that she has not divorced me in my perpetual state of delusion and delirium. She also may or may not read this; I keep in mind that my convoluted blog is often tl;dr for her tastes.

All that aside, I realized today that she is my only friend thus far who I communicate with maybe once a week. Sure on special occasions I will venture out and act like a proper human being with my sister Jenna, but those occasions are few and far in between. If I am not serving out platters of fried happiness at work, then I am at home. Alone. I'm not really alone though. I've made many friends since I've left school. Dozens even. I'm talking about my friends on television. Oh yes, I have many friends on television. While I may no longer meet up with the bros for drinks or go on the occasional date, I am now regularly fighting shapeshifters from alternate universes, solving murder mysteries in the  greater Santa Barbara area, and cooking crystal meth with my high school chemistry teacher. My new life is so exciting, I don't know how I could ever go back! I am no longer waiting around for my friends to show up; I just pop my friends in the dvd player whenever I want to hang out! Not so long ago I suffered the disappointment of canceled plans and unanswered calls and text messages. Those days are behind me. If I want to hang out with Shawn Spencer and Sam the Onion Man, then I very damn well will hang out with Shawn Spencer and Sam the Onion Man. And they won't be late. They will also leave promptly when I've had my fill of wacky detective work.

Of course, not all relationships are perfect. There are times when I can't see my friends. Sometimes my streaming websites are shut down. Contrary to what Vernon Dursley says, Sunday is not the best day of the week; there's no post on Sundays, and my websites are down for weekly maintenance on Sundays. National sports are also on my shit list, especially the Rangers with Texas shitting bricks on every television station during the finals. May they rot in their unflattering uniforms for stealing the time slots of my shows. At the moment, Fringe is on hiatus until January. I am sad, but I am a sensible person. I understand that sometimes friends go on trips, and we will rejoice gaily when everyone returns. However, a show's cancellation means that those friends are dead. Again, this is just one of those natural occurrences. Their health is in decline so their storyline stagnates before altogether collapsing. However, when a network cancels a perfectly good show, then it is murder. Arrested Development, Pushing Daisies, Firefly, Sirens: all murdered! Evil hands at work deprived me of buckling swash with Cpt. Tight-pants Mal Reynolds as well as from saving lives with Richard Madden's fine ginger ass. Firefly  rose from the grave with their follow-up, Serenity, and I am expecting a similar resurrection with the Arrested Development movie in the works. Much religious quaking and plebeian rejoicing will be in order.

Tomorrow I will see my wife after two weeks without contact. I am excited to go outside and act like a human being. I am also happy to give my dvd player and laptop a rest, as I am typing away right now listening to Mary J. Blige's My Life album. Yes, this is my life. Yes, Mary, I too live a life full of players, haters, drama, and self actualization, except mine is pixelated. I too wish to say "No more drama," but TNT keeps telling me, "We know drama." The only times I have clarity in my life is when I watch it on Blu-Ray. Real life is kind of like watching something on Blu-Ray; everything is a little more intense, and I can see all the craters in Jet Li's face. Yes, I see Jet Li in real life. All Chinese people know each other. Real life doesn't pause when I have to refill my tea though. It also doesn't let me rewind to see cool things, unless I'm Curtis from Misfits. Real life is pretty boring, but after being in TV world for so long tomorrow will be like visiting an old friend. It's always nice when I interact with people outside of television, but it's even nicer when people outside of television actually want to interact with me.